good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
