No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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