Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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