I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
