i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He felt like a one man threesome
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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