I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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