There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
