don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
