24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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