there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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