"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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