This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
