the day after is always just damage control
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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