My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A+ Viking dick
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
