nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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