Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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