i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the day after is always just damage control
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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