All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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