first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
