things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
