The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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