U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize