i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Im part way to drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
