i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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