Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
