I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize