Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
