I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
