You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
