check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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