I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
