He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
