Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it because I queefed?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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