I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
wow bdsm is so cute
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
