Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
