Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
