you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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