ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
