I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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