Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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