I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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