So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
