I'm so fucking centered right now
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
