elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I love you. Go after that dick
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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