You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
