the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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