My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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