I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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