it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
