How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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