That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
