i just had sex bonerless
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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