Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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