omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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