she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
