I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
