Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize