The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
