Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You took a bar mat shot.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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