I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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