I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
