so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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