Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
