i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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