i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
