Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize