dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
