My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
